I actually met Andy Zack many years later, after this rejection notice, at a writers’ conference. Nice guy.
Anyway, take a gander:
You know, I can remember thinking — at the time I received this — that it was almost over written. Over mannered. Too precise and specific.
But let’s be honest: Wannabe writers are not always known for being the most calm, rational, and accepting of creatures. 1 So it behooves an agent to try to anticipate as many possible responses as he or she can, and head them off at the pass. 2 Every time I look at this little rejection slip, I remind myself of what it must be like on the other side of the desk, in constant fear that any rejection could trigger a monumental meltdown of epic proportions, stepping cautiously, writing carefully…
Ah, paper rejections. The excitement of a full mailbox. The nice, cream paper. The cardstock. Plus the occasional gems, the little handwritten scawls at the margin, saying, “Thanks for letting us see this,” or the jackpot, “Try us again!” Being rejected was so much more elegant in the old days.
It truly was the Golden Age of Rejection.