THE BLog

Lost: Sex = Death

Ever since Shannon took a bullet to the belly, it’s been something of a running joke amongst fans of this show that sex equals death. Well, tonight we got concrete proof that it’s not just a joke among fans — it’s freakin’ deliberate.

Juliet confirms that women who conceive on the island die, usually by the middle of their second trimester, never later than the beginning of the third. And Sun, we learn, was impregnated by Jin…on the island. (Yeah, we learned his swimmers don’t swim a while back, but tonight Juliet rather casually informed us that sperm production is up five-fold on the island. Which makes me think that Dharma’s missing a bet with all this cloak and dagger stuff — they should just rent out the island to infertile men! Let them come here for a hefty fee, impregnate their wives, then go home to deliver safely. Lot more money in that than in terrifying helpless castaways.)

Where was I? Oh, yeah — Sun’s gonna die. Bummer, huh?

Actually, though, I like this plot development. It adds a ticking clock to a show that’s been woefully missing one for a while. Now there’s a compelling reason to figure out the island mysteries and get off the island as quickly as possible. (Other than, y’know, just wanting to get the hell of the island in the first place!)

Further in the “answers revealed” category this week, Mikhail reveals that–

Wait a sec.

Mikhail?

Shoved-through-the-sonic-fence-by-Locke, blood-spurting-out-his-ears, foaming-at-the-mouth, “He’s dead, Jim,” Mikhail?

Um, yeah. He’s back. With no explanation. Which is actually fine because it was such a complete shock to me that I prefer it go unexplained for now.

Anyway, he reveals that, yes, the island does have mysterious healing properties. Yeah, we’ve known that for a while, but now someone has told the castaways in no uncertain terms.

Things like this, coupled with Juliet’s comment on sperm production, make me think that maybe the producersare going to start doling out the answers a little bit. Stranger things have happened, I guess.

In the flashbacks… Um, we learn that Jin and Sun love each other a lot. (Which we knew already.) We learn that Sun is a hard-core bad-ass. (Which, uh, we knew already.) We learn that Jin’s mother is/was a prostitute who blackmailed Sun. (Which we didn’t know already, but which was telegraphed really badly.) And we learn that Jin’s dad keeps $100 grand in cold, hard Korean cash in his safe and doesn’t mind punching in the code while his daughter is standing there.

Which we didn’t know. But, uh, does anyone feel enlightened by that knowledge?

So, back on the island, Juliet leaves Ben a love note, saying, “I hate you,” which is nice. And Lady from the Sky gives us a great cliffhanger when she reveals that Oceanic Flight 815 was found…and there were no survivors. Ooh… That’s enough to keep me coming back next week, kids.

But…

When Juliet takes Sun to the Caduceus, I couldn’t help thinking, “Why haven’t the castaways moved in here yet? It’s safe; it’s dry; it’s got electricity.”

Which, of course, brought me back to my same old bugabooWhy in the name of all that is holy and good and righteous haven’t the castaways moved to Otherville yet? Jesus! Someone, anyone on the writing staff, PLEASE throw in a single line explaining this because it’s killing me! Of all the lame-brained things the castaways have done on the island, this is surely the stupidest. And every time an episode goes by without an explanation, a little piece of me dies.

And that’s just sad.

I’m on iTunes

My obsessive admiration for Steven P. Jobs and his crack squad of wunderkinder at Apple is well-known by anyone who has spoken to me for more than five minutes. (Um, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize for this, too…)

So yeah, I know that this may be a little thing, but still… I can’t help but feel a little thrill when I visit iTunes and type in my name and…

Fanboy on iTunesThere I am. Well, my audiobook, at least.

I don’t know why it hits me so strongly. It’s just One of Those Things, I guess. You never think about it or anticipate it and then it just hits you. In fact, I didn’t think about it until five minutes ago, and my audiobook came out six weeks ago! But I thought about it just now and I checked and there it was.

I think it’s similar to the thrill authors feel the first time they see their books on the shelves of their local bookstores. You just get this moment of reality colliding with the fantasy in your mind as that fantasy becomes true.

In this case, it’s a virtual bookshelf, but it’s one stocked by the guy who oversaw and micromanaged into existence all the cool computer toys I play with.

So, y’know, it’s me and Steve and my hero, Bruce Springsteen, and…

Oh, shut up and let me dream!

Fanboy Goes to College

One of the most interesting (and certainly unexpected) aspects of my Texas Tour back in January was meeting Bill Monroe, a professor at the University of Houston. Bill actually uses The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl in his class on Literature and Alienation! That was pretty wild to learn. Even wilder was that my schedule allowed me time to visit Bill’s class, where I got to sit in on (and participate in!) a discussion of my own book. That was an incredible experience!

Bill answered a few questions about how and why he chose the book for the class, and even supplied a couple of response papers from students. You can see it all over on the Fanboy site.

Krypton Discovered!

Oh. My. God.

Check this out… Astronomers have found Krypton!

For those of you who have no idea what I’m getting at, here’s a quick lesson in comic book history/pseudo-science: Superman has super-powers because of two key differences between his homeworld and Earth. Earth has a different color sun and lighter gravity, OK?

Well, this planet that astronomers have found has a mass five times that of Earth. I’m no scientist, but it seems to me that would indicate greater gravitational pull.

And the planet circles a red sun. Just like Krypton. (Someone, please change the name of the star from Gliese 581 to Rao! Please!)

Good Lord, one of the scientists involved even calls the planet “super-Earth!” What more do you want, people?

Now we just need to wait for the planet to blow up. And then keep an eye out for baby-sized rockets entering the atmosphere over Kansas.

Heroes: Death and Life and More Death

Heroes is back.

Oh, thank God. Oh, thank you thank you thank you.

This show’s hiatus hurt. It hurt bad, man. Like a young panty-less starlet heading to rehab, I’ve been shivering and shaking for more than a month. Yeah, there’s been Lost — my own personal methadone — but nothing takes the edge off like the pure rush of 100% pure Heroes. Ah, man. So good…

Oh, sorry. Where was I? Right. Heroes is back.

I’m pretty much reduced to a babbling idiot, so I’ll just blurt out the things that made me as happy as Steve Jobs showing off an iPhone.

Loved HRG’s almost relaxed stoicism (a paradox, yeah, but it fits) while locked up at Primatech. Loved the sheer joy Thompson exuded while being menacing. So deliciously evil. I love that he loves his work.

Went delirious at HRG’s ungodly strong faith in just thinking hard at Matt to get his attention and trusting that Matt would “hear” him. HRG is, without a doubt, the single coolest character in pop culture right now.

Oh, God — Linderman is executing a Watchmen gambit… (If you don’t get that…head to your local comic book store and buy Watchmen!)

Speaking of Linderman… Does MacDowell own that role or what? When he grinned at Micah, I thought, “Oh, wow! Santa Claus has an evil twin! Cool!”

Sylar found a great way to fight an invisible opponent. Throw a bunch of crap around the room with your telekinesis and kill him dead. Nice.

(Um, which actually brings me to my only nitpick for the episode: Why did Mohinder leave Sylar? Jesus! Should have slit the guy’s throat before you went hauling Peter’s body all over Manhattan. [BTW, how did he explain that to the cabbie?])

Matt laughing at HRG; “You’re middle management.” Priceless.

Isaac’s death — yow! So well done.

Oh, Lord. I have to wait a week until the next episode? And there’s only four left until another looooooong hiatus?

I shall begin weeping now.