THE BLog

Krypton Discovered!

Oh. My. God.

Check this out… Astronomers have found Krypton!

For those of you who have no idea what I’m getting at, here’s a quick lesson in comic book history/pseudo-science: Superman has super-powers because of two key differences between his homeworld and Earth. Earth has a different color sun and lighter gravity, OK?

Well, this planet that astronomers have found has a mass five times that of Earth. I’m no scientist, but it seems to me that would indicate greater gravitational pull.

And the planet circles a red sun. Just like Krypton. (Someone, please change the name of the star from Gliese 581 to Rao! Please!)

Good Lord, one of the scientists involved even calls the planet “super-Earth!” What more do you want, people?

Now we just need to wait for the planet to blow up. And then keep an eye out for baby-sized rockets entering the atmosphere over Kansas.

Heroes: Death and Life and More Death

Heroes is back.

Oh, thank God. Oh, thank you thank you thank you.

This show’s hiatus hurt. It hurt bad, man. Like a young panty-less starlet heading to rehab, I’ve been shivering and shaking for more than a month. Yeah, there’s been Lost — my own personal methadone — but nothing takes the edge off like the pure rush of 100% pure Heroes. Ah, man. So good…

Oh, sorry. Where was I? Right. Heroes is back.

I’m pretty much reduced to a babbling idiot, so I’ll just blurt out the things that made me as happy as Steve Jobs showing off an iPhone.

Loved HRG’s almost relaxed stoicism (a paradox, yeah, but it fits) while locked up at Primatech. Loved the sheer joy Thompson exuded while being menacing. So deliciously evil. I love that he loves his work.

Went delirious at HRG’s ungodly strong faith in just thinking hard at Matt to get his attention and trusting that Matt would “hear” him. HRG is, without a doubt, the single coolest character in pop culture right now.

Oh, God — Linderman is executing a Watchmen gambit… (If you don’t get that…head to your local comic book store and buy Watchmen!)

Speaking of Linderman… Does MacDowell own that role or what? When he grinned at Micah, I thought, “Oh, wow! Santa Claus has an evil twin! Cool!”

Sylar found a great way to fight an invisible opponent. Throw a bunch of crap around the room with your telekinesis and kill him dead. Nice.

(Um, which actually brings me to my only nitpick for the episode: Why did Mohinder leave Sylar? Jesus! Should have slit the guy’s throat before you went hauling Peter’s body all over Manhattan. [BTW, how did he explain that to the cabbie?])

Matt laughing at HRG; “You’re middle management.” Priceless.

Isaac’s death — yow! So well done.

Oh, Lord. I have to wait a week until the next episode? And there’s only four left until another looooooong hiatus?

I shall begin weeping now.

Lost: Mr. Des’s Wild Ride

My big complaint? It’s been two weeks since Jack et al left the Others’ camp and still no explanation as to why the Losties haven’t moved en masse to Suburbia Behind the Fence. Come on, people. I would take a throwaway line if you’d just, uh, throw it my way.

This is such a massive, absurd plot hole that even Evangeline Lilly in her undergarments couldn’t make me forget it. Even Ms. Lilly later crawling atop Sawyer, providing a gratuitous (but much-appreciated) look down her top couldn’t distract me from the utter idiocy of not moving to Otherville.

One line, Lost folks! Good Lord, just have someone mention that there’s some dissension in the ranks and discussion about moving going on. That’s all. It’s not difficult.

Sigh.

And would Jin really go running off for a camping trip of all things?

And how in the world could Desmond think that letting Charlie take an arrow to the throat would make Penny somehow survive the helicopter drop? There’s absolutely no causal connection between the two. In fact, sacrificing Charlie would most likely have slowed Des and the boys down and made it impossible for them to get to Penny in time.

In some ways, though, I can forgive this episode a lot. Because Des’s backstory was just so much fun, even though I think his rationale for calling everyone “brother” was a little overdone. But how can you not love Des guzzling the monastery’s wine? How can you not love the thought of the love-obsessed Scotsman in a monastery somewhere? And wasn’t his meeting with Penny sweet?

Oh, and surely I’m not the only person who noticed the photograph on the abbot’s desk? Veeeery interesting!

The backstory and the little details of the episode have me convinced that the producers have a decent wrap-up coming our way in a few weeks. But the particulars of everyday life on the beach are still nagging me. Hopefully next week will bring some progress on that score.

Don’t hold your breath, though. Just in case the answers are a long time coming.


Day-um!

OK, I can think of ten, maybe twelve ways to fake this.

But I don’t care. It looks so. Damn. Cool.

Perfect music choice, too…

Lost: No! Yes! No!

Goddamnit!

OK, now that that’s out of the way…

I swear, this is the most infuriating show on television! Yes, tonight they let us take a big, giant step in the direction of The Truth, but they still kept the characters in the dark for no good reason! I kept going back and forth — was it great? Was it teh suck (as the kids say)?

I can see the writers’ meeting right now:

WRITER A: Well, we’ve got Juliet at the beach, but won’t everyone pelt her with questions?

WRITER B: We need an excuse for them not to.

WRITER C: I’ve got it! Have her save someone’s life and then everyone will trust her!

REST OF ROOM: Huzzah!!!!

NOOOOOO!

Jesus, people! Just because you trust someone doesn’t mean you give them a free pass! The most likely, reasonable, rational scenario is that Juliet saves Claire’s life and everyone on the beach says, “Wow, that’s great! So you’re really one of us! Terrific. Now since you’re one of us, we know you won’t mind answering some questions…”

I mean, yes — Elizabeth Mitchell knocked her flashbacks out of the park (especially that heart-wrenching moment when she sees her nephew on the Flame’s monitors). And yes, EM is six, maybe seven kinds of hot. And yes, it was great to see Hurley bring up Ethan’s transgressions (though he should have mentioned that Ethan damn near killed Charlie!). And yes, yet again, the twist at the end was fabulous.

But the whole thing was marred by the stupidity of Juliet not being hammered with questions (as mentioned above) and by the absolute idiocy of Jack sending Juliet for the medical supplies alone, as opposed to having, say, Kate go with her. This was done purely so that Juliet could have a scene of faux drama with Sawyer and Sayid, said scene coming off laughable because those two guys should have said, “Exactly, we’re not angels. So start talking, lady.”

God.

As to Juliet not being asked any questions: The solution to this is so simple, it’s absurd. To wit:

SAWYER: Start yappin’, little lady. I got a hankerin’ for some answers and I ain’t too picky about how I get ’em right about now.

JULIET: I would love to tell you everything. But we’ve all been given post-hypnotic suggestions that prevent us from talking about the group or anything related to it with outsiders. Ben has to give me a pre-programmed codeword to break the suggestion. If you can get him to do that, I’ll tell you everything you want to know.

SAWYER: Sounds like hogwash to me. Sayid, get your knives.

KATE: Wait a minute, Sawyer. We saw them brainwashing that kid, remember?

JULIET: Exactly. We all go through that. I can’t tell you anything at all.

Now, was that so difficult? A nice little lie (or hell, maybe it could be true, depending on the arc of the show) resolves the lingering question of why no one ever gets any answers until the producers WANT them to.

 

Sigh. Lost folks, I’d kill to write an episode of this show. Call my people . 🙂