EVERY MONDAY – WHETHER YOU NEED IT OR NOT – I POST COOL, ABSURD, AND/OR AWESOME PANELS FROM COMIC BOOKS I READ AS A KID. THIS IS

MEMORY MONDAY

Memory Monday – Future Stupidity!

The sheer idiocy of what you are about to see is, well, idiotic. Legion of Super-Heroes expert and chronicler Paul Levitz called what you are about to read “one of the silliest lines in LSH history.” And considering that this is the comic book wherein they used to pick mission leaders with something called the Planetary Chance Machine (a gadget that would literally FLING tiny planetary replicas at your HEAD at RANDOM), that’s saying something.

Now. Imagine it’s 1,000 years in the future. A nigh-utopian 30th Century, where humanity has conquered disease, the stars, and even time travel. A universe patrolled by the Legion of Super-Heroes, a literal army of super-powered teens from various planets around the universe, all working together in harmony and tolerance. One such Legionnaire is Brainiac 5, the beyond-super-intelligent member from the planet Colu. As of the time of this particular Memory Monday, the group’s democratically-elected leader is Saturn Girl.

And then one day (click to enlarge):

 

Brainiac 5: Genius and Sexist Idiot

 

The green guy spouting the sexist drivel is none other than the aforementioned Brainiac 5. He’s the smartest guy in the entire universe, in case you were wondering.

And Saturn Girl — I hasten to remind you — was the leader of the team at this point! Voted so by all the members!

Sigh. Oh, comics. Why do you break my heart?

It is worth mentioning here that this sort of sexism was actually relatively rare in the Legion comics of the day. The female members were often subjected to various “silly girls” characterizations, but they were almost always treated as equals when it came to actual super-heroing. Which makes this garbage from the smartest person in the universe all the more puzzling.

I charitably assume that writer Ed Hamilton was having a REALLY bad day when he scripted this one…

Either that or… Maybe Saturn Girl didn’t feel like going on the mission…so she used her telepathy to make Brainy give her an “out.”

Hmm…

(From Adventure Comics #309, June 1963. Story by Ed Hamilton, art by John Forte.)

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